The Trouble with Self-Love
Leaving home to work in another country is an act of courage. Nurses who cross borders to care for others often do so while carrying the invisible weight of culture shock, homesickness, and the pressure to adapt quickly. Amid the long shifts, unfamiliar systems, and missing family traditions, one thing can feel especially hard: self-love.
Self-love isn’t about bubble baths or motivational quotes, it’s about the relationship you have with yourself when no one else is around. And that relationship can be tested when you’re in a new country, surrounded by different languages, accents, foods, and ways of living.
Why self-love feels difficult abroad
- Loneliness & Displacement: It’s easy to feel “out of place,” and those feelings can make you doubt your worth or belonging.
- High Expectations: Nurses often give endlessly to their patients, leaving little energy for themselves.
- Cultural Barriers: When norms and values around you feel different, it can challenge your identity and sense of self.
What self-love really looks like
Psychologists describe self-love as three things:
- Self-contact - Paying attention to yourself, noticing your needs.
- Self-acceptance - Being at peace with all parts of who you are, even the messy ones.
- Self-care - Protecting and nourishing yourself, in body, mind, and spirit.
For international nurses, this could mean:
- Giving yourself permission to rest without guilt after a long shift.
- Calling home regularly, but also creating small “home rituals” where you are now.
- Accepting that it’s okay to feel sad, angry, or overwhelmed, and that doesn’t mean you’re failing.
- Saying “no” when you need to protect your time or energy.
A gentle reminder
Self-love isn’t a neat package. It won’t look perfect or feel easy, especially when you’re far from home. But every time you pause to check in with yourself, allow your feelings, and choose one small act of kindness toward your own well-being, you’re building resilience.
Remember: You are not just a nurse in a foreign country. You are a whole human being who deserves care, compassion, and love from yourself, as much as from others.
